Sabotage!

Yesterday's workout was pretty light -- confined it to walking, as my foot cramped up after just five minutes of warmup and I had to stop and stretch it.

I went to bed last night, and set the alarm for 5:30 so I could get a run in before work and my long Monday. I woke up refreshed and happy, and squinted across the room at the clock.

6:35.

So, yeah, setting the alarm and actually turning the damn thing on are two different things. Quite a scramble to get both of us ready and out the door before 7 AM.

So, now I have to work out after my long day ... or sneak in a walk (in my work clothes and shoes) after lunch and call it good enough.

On the other hand, my body sure appreciated that extra hour of sleep :).

Feeling strong, feeling weak

This morning I did some walking and upper-body work. I did 30 pushups and 60 situps, along with a 30-minute walk. That's my third "weight" workout this week, and it gives me a great sense of accomplishment. I feel stronger and fitter, knowing I'm doing things I couldn't do a couple months ago. I can see changes in my body makeup, even though my weight loss has slowed considerably this month.

But I'm feeling spent. The heat, the little cold I just fought off, the exercising every day, I feel like it's adding up. I wake up every morning just a little sore. My legs aren't recovering as fast as I want them too. I need more sleep, and I need a couple days off. I already think I will walk instead of running tomorrow, as my legs are a bit sore from chasing little kids around today (our nephew's 9th birthday party, including wiffle ball in the humid upper 90s).

Anyway, I'm going to finish the month out, and then Saturday, the first day after August, I'll be spending 12-14 hours babysitting for a toddler and an infant (with my wife, mind you). After that, I think I'll just rot on Sunday, and let the exercise pick back up on Monday (on Labor Day, how fitting).

How odd is it that I'm planning a two-day break from exercise like it's some kind of vacation? This crazy experiment really has changed my outlook.

Wait, Summer again?

After a solid week of sub-80 temps, today we spiked back up into the 80s, where we'll sit for the weekend.

Personally, I'm ready for fall. Autumn is without a doubt my favorite time of year. It starts with my birthday, drifts into football season, and brings with it fresh apples, sweatshirts, cool breezes and the smell of fallen leaves. And even when it turns into winter, I stay happy -- cold slate-gray November skies just mean Thanksgiving is around the corner, the Christmas season after that, and then New Years and the Superbowl.

Let's not talk about February through April.

Anyway, today was warmer than I wanted it to be, so my almost-repeat of last week's 4.5 mile run was cut a bit short. I cut out the 3/4 of a mile with the big hill, and did a good 3.75 instead. It felt great, but I'm glad to be home and cooling down.

Lack of willpower

Every Thursday my group at work has "tea time." We brew a pot of tea, and eat snacks. It's a break from the work week, a chance to socialize for half an hour to an hour. A lot of good conversations start at tea time, from learning about people's off-hours lives to finally getting a chance to have a face-to-face conversation about a bug that keeps going back and forth between development and quality engineering.

I am a very social eater. If others are eating, I am eating. I struggle with this every Thursday. I plan around it, play tricks on myself, eat a fruit immediately beforehand, etc. And every Thursday I feel guilty when I eat more than I should have.

Today was no different. I was the only manager representing my immediate team there, so I felt the need to stay there (and not go back to my desk after the first 15 minutes, one of my "tricks" to avoiding pigging out) and be social. Of course, that meant nibbling on jelly beans and cashews and candy-coated peanuts....

As I felt guilty about it later in the evening, I berated myself for having no willpower, for being weak-spirited.

And then I looked at the calendar. 23 days of exercise in a row, as of today.

I have plenty of willpower. I just have to focus it.

Side note: we've been doing a lot of experimentation with cooking at home, to save money and be more healthy. Today we learned we don't really like Sage that much, certainly not as the primary spice in a side dish. Anybody want some leftover white bean salad?

More concrete fitness goals

Inspired by Jank's post on goals (in which he referenced my post on goals, go figure), I put some thought into more aggressively focusing on specific fitness goals for the next year.

Here's an idea I'm kicking around.

What if:

- Over the winter, I work on slowly increasing my base mileage, speed, and strength
- In early spring, I harshly evaluate my fitness with the aim of ...
- Starting a 6-month training schedule for a half-marathon in fall of 2008?

I've never run more than a 10K. The 10K I ran, I ran too hard, and didn't recover well from the resulting vague injuries I suffered.

But in spring of '08 I'll have a good year of running on my legs (this time around), and should be in a good position to determine if I'm okay to push it to the next level or not.

I haven't committed to this idea yet. But it has a certain attraction.

The long term payoff for this plan, of course, would be to run a marathon before I turn 40. But that's crazy talk and I'm going to shut up about it now. The half is a crazy idea, never mind the big one....

A stupid rant

So I went to register for a race today. I figured I would do it online; I mean, who wants to print out an application, write a check (I write maybe one check a quarter, honestly), and put it in a mailbox (I couldn't even tell you how much stamps cost these days, I buy them so infrequently)?

I felt like I was stepping back in time, trying to do this. First off, the interface was terrible. But I'm not here to bitch about bad UI design (even though I could, trust me). What killed me is that the form which allowed you to enter your payment information was not secured! Plaintext http. No SSL. And they wanted me to type in my credit card number.

I do software for a living. I cannot imagine in this day and age that there are third-party websites you can outsource your shopping cart management to which don't use https. I mean, I can't believe there are ones which are still this bad. There are entire companies whose business model seems to be centered around this sort of thing -- gathering registration for races, collecting the money, etc. This isn't a novel problem. We solved this problem a half-decade ago, didn't we?

I was blown away. Here I am telling people how safe it is to use your credit cards online, because everything is secured, blah blah blah. I take it back. It may be 2007, but you still better make sure you're connected via a secured protocol.

21

My 3-mile treadmill run today brought me to 21 consecutive exercise days. 3 weeks! It's officially a habit now, right?

Ha! :)

The truth is that I've learned a lot from these 3 weeks. The biggest lesson is that it's not that hard to exercise. I can always find the time. Sometimes I might need to plan ahead, but it's not rocket science.

So what do I want to do? What exercise plan do I want to set into motion going forward?

I'm probably going to register for a race in early October. So what will I do in September?

34 Years Old

I feel old today. I feel out of shape. I know it's nothing, and it'll pass, but this morning I just wanted to stay in bed. No such luxury available -- got up at 5:30, did my upper body workout (that and yesterday's lawn mowing keep my exercise Augustaton steady at 20 days), and dragged myself to work.

Yesterday I promised some thoughts on where I am, where I'm going, and all that. Here are some thoughts.

Keep doing what I'm doing. I feel like I'm in a healthy place as far as my attitude towards eating and fitness goes, so I want to keep things going in that direction. Fine tuning here and there, sure, but overall keep things going. The same is basically true for money -- I'm making better financial decisions than I was a year ago, and I don't feel like I need to make huge changes there.

Feed my joy. I need to remember to seek out the events that make for memorable joyous moments. Stumbling upon them is wonderful, but making opportunities for them to happen is even better. There's nothing wrong with enjoying my toys, my hobbies, my diversions. But at some level I need to remember that the way I use those things should always be directed towards creating opportunities for memorable joy.

Stay open-minded and eager. It's highly probable that big changes are on the way for me ... Jess and I are talking very seriously about starting a family, soon. I must not let my fear of the unknown taint what should be an amazing time in our lives.

So, my apologies if it isn't ground-breaking. There's more I could write, about how maybe I should be doing things differently at work, or some such. But as far as my home life goes, this is where I think I am.

We'll see how I feel in a year....

Nothing changes on New Year's Day

(did a short but good walk with my wife yesterday for my Augustathon progress -- 18 days down!)

Most people look at New Year's Day as a time to reflect on achievements, compose goals, and set direction for the next 12 months.

I've never really found that easy. For one thing, you've likely just spent some time over-indulging for the holidays. You're quite possibly stressed, having just eaten too much, spending too much, and hanging out with people you don't normally visit.

I've found my birthday to be a better time to do this sort of self-reflection. And so, one day before I turn 34, I set my mind to these kinds of questions. What have I done right and wrong this year? And what do I want to do better next year? What do I want to have true about me when I turn 35, on August 20 2008?

I'll follow up with some thoughts either later today, or more appropriately, tomorrow.

Sneaking out for a quickie at lunch

Friday, I often work from home. I generally work from home one day a week, and in the summer the best day for that is Friday, because the traffic on 495 and 90 is a real bitch at the end of the work week (I actually prefer working from home Tuesday or Wednesday; I tend to get more done, but oh well).

One of the pluses of working from home is being able to sneak in exercise time. So yesterday, I logged out of IM around 11 AM and tied the sneakers on. With temps below 70 and the sun just starting to peek out, it was a rare chance for a beautiful mid-day run.

I started out, as with all my neighborhood runs, with only a rough idea of how long I'd be out. In the end, I made just about all the "make the run longer" choices when they popped up, and I walked back up the porch totally spent but feeling incredibly satisfied.

4.5 miles, which is "not a big deal" for most runners, but is the farthest I've run in over two years. It's just a number, and not that big of one, but it made me feel amazing. Around 3 miles into the run there's this nasty hill, pretty steep but not that long. It's just enough to make you question your sanity before you get to come back down.

Anyway. My legs are complaining now, but man is my soul happy.

A day off ... not really

So, yesterday I was feeling beat for some reason. I came home from work and just wanted to take a nap. My wife, who is struggling just as I am to overcome bad habits and replace them with good ones, wanted to get out of the house and get dinner out.

I knew if I went out to eat right then, I'd be in some serious trouble come workout time. I was planning to log into World of Warcraft at 8 in case I was needed in a raid (for you non-geeks out there, pretend I'm saying "I was going to a friend's house, in case a seat opened up at his card game." It doesn't quite mean the same thing, but that's the idea), and I can't really work out immediately after eating.

So I asked my wife to give me 45 minutes. I got changed, grumbling the whole time, and disappeared into the basement.

They weren't the best minutes of exercise I've had this month, but I got them in (walking, to give my joints a little of the "babying" Tea reminded me about yesterday). I came back up, cleaned up, and joined her for dinner at our favorite small-town haunt.

I ate a hamburger and some onion rings, but resisted the siren's call of the place's awesome selection of microbrews. A small victory, really.

But, hey, not long ago I would have skipped the walk, ordered an appetizer, and enjoyed a couple beers as well. So you take what you can get, you know?

I'll be better today, I promise :).

(I have to -- tomorrow is another BBQ!)

A blog post a day

I didn't know when I started my Augustathon exercise experiment that it would also mean I was going to blog (almost) every day, but it seems to be working out that way. I'm glad, though, because writing more regularly (even if it's just glorified diary entries like this) is something I want to do in life.

Yesterday's run was hard, and I'm not sure why. Usually after the first ten minutes, I get into a groove (see my previous post). But last night I just felt slow and awkward the first 20 minutes. My groove finally hit in the final ten, and I considered doing another 5-10 minutes just to enjoy it a bit more, but my knee had been sore earlier in the day and I didn't want to push my luck.

I think I made the right choice -- the knee is fine, so far, today (though it was sore on and off until I went to bed last night).

How exercise taught me patience

I noticed something interesting the other day. I was mentally checking my progress on my Augustahon exercise experiment, and I realized I was just a bit over a third done. And right then, I told myself I knew I could complete it.

How do I know this?

I visualized myself on my treadmill. The clock said 15:00 ... 5 minutes of warmup, plus 10 minutes of a 30 minute run. And at that point, I know I'm a third of the way done, and I can do the rest.

I play all kinds of numbers games with myself, all the time. It's part of being so mathematically inclined. But the 1/3-done game is relatively new, and it certainly came from running such a regimented schedule during the latter part of my C25K program and the runs in the weeks immediately following.

The logic is relatively simple. Imagine you are at home. You need to run somewhere and back. Well, you immediately split that run in half. You know if you ran to someplace, you can obviously run back (I'm not crazy like some of you, running distances we clearly invented cars to traverse ;) ). Now, imagine you are running to your new halfway point. You are 2/3 of the way there ... clearly, you can handle the final 1/3, right?

You're 1/3 of the way done with your run, but in your mind, you've done the hardest part. You know you can do the rest.

Somehow, this stupid math/visualization trick has found its way into my daily routine. A third has magically become this milestone measurement.

After all, the hardest part is done.

(Augustathon update: upper-body workout with a side-order of "walking", immediately upon arrival from work. 25 push-ups, 50 sit-ups, skipped the squats, 25 minutes of walking. Next time, I think I'll go for 30/60 ... or put the squats back in....)

A case of the mondays

The alarm went off at 5:27 AM, and let me tell you, I did not want to hear it. I had gone to bed early-ish, but had not slept well. I felt like I wanted another two hours of shut-eye.

So of course I put on my gym clothes and hit the treadmill for 40 minutes. Because, hey, if you're tired and miserable, you may as well be burning Calories too.

I'm fine now, and quite thrilled to have completed my exercise for the day before breakfast. But at the time, it was a special kind of torture.

Monday is a tough day for me. I drive my wife to work, then I drive to work, have a busy Monday of work, then drive to my mothers' place, pick her up, take her grocery shopping, and then drive back to my wife's work and pick her up. Of course, she has a longer work today than I do, so she's dead on her feet just like I am (shorter work day, but a lot more running around). She usually drives home, and we often stop for dinner on the way back. This means we leave the house before 7 AM, and usually get home around 8. It's a long, tiring day.

That's why I had to get my run in when I did. Because getting on that treadmill at 8 after this day is probably harder than getting on it at 5:30 before it.

Eagerly choking

Yesterday's cookout was a good time -- got to see some friends, and some "friends of friends" (ok, really family of friends) that I don't know that well. My buddy Clint finally broke the news to everyone that he and his wife are going to be parents next year (congrats!), and we got to see the new baby that our friends who hosted the BBQ just had 3 weeks back (congrats again!).

And I smoked a cigar. Well, half of one.

I've never smoked a cigar, but what the hell? I mean, lots of runners smoke, right?

Seriously, though, I know it's not something I'd get into. I knew I would only get so much out of it. But you have to try new things, even stupid things.

You only live once, and I'm sure I've done (and will do) worse things on a whim than smoke a cigar :).

(Augustathon workout today was 1h45m spent doing yardwork, mostly pushing a heavy-ass lawnmower around.)

August is 1/3 done

And my silly exercise experiment is going strong.

I feel stronger and fitter, even if every day I'm thinking, god, why did I do this, I just want to take a day off and vegetate.

Plenty of time for that in the Winter, right? :)

Yesterday I had every intention of mowing the lawn, but it poured all day. I went to do my upper body workout and my arms and abs reminded me I need more than just a day of rest on that. So I did a 45-minute brisk walk to save my legs for today.

Today, we hopped in the car and went to the state park, where we did a bit less than an hour of running and walking along some really hilly roads through the woods. My legs are a little sore now, which is exactly what I wanted! We saw a tiny little orange salamander (we see them squished a lot, this was the first one we saw alive), a chipmunk, and some birds. Running at the park is, to me, the payoff to staying in shape -- getting to just get out there and enjoy the beauty of New England on my own terms.

This afternoon, we are heading to a BBQ with some friends. Burgers, beers, and probably a few games of cards as the day wears on. Not exactly healthy, but what's the point of living longer if you can't have a little fun with the days you're earning?

The "reality" of it all

So, yesterday I did another treadmill workout after work -- 3 miles of wishing I could get into a groove of running in the morning but knowing my long commute makes that much more difficult than it used to be.

I watched my DVR'd copy of the first episode of LA Ink, the spinoff of Miami Ink. I'm not sure why I enjoy running to Miami Ink -- probably because I see a lot of stories of people who have conquered something big, or are in a period of intense transition in life. They are celebrating, they are taking note, they are doing something to recognize an important event by permanently modifying their bodies.

I don't know that it's something I'd ever do, but I admire the idea behind it.

This first episode of LA Ink, though, tried my patience. We watch as Kat goes to her old friends and tries to convince them to come work for her at her new LA shop.

It was ... painful. You know all her friends are going to say yes. You know they've decided before the TV cameras show up and film the conversation. I mean, come on. "Kat, why are you here with a film crew from the Discovery network?" "Never mind that, just sit and let them fix your makeup before I ask you an important question. Oh, sign this waiver, but don't ask what it's all about."

We're not that dumb.

But then I wonder ... are we approaching a world where having people in everyday situations with a small film crew following them around "for a reality show" is actually approaching normal? Are we getting close to where real reactions happen among people when they deal with a person like that? Or have we been there for some time, in places like LA and NYC? And if so, how can people actually ever be normal?

That's just, your opinion, man

My job title may no longer refer to me as an engineer, but at my heart I'm still a problem-solver.

Last night, I decided I could afford to buy some new speakers for my living room. But I was smart, and before I pulled the trigger online, I decided to take some measurements. It turns out, they weren't going to fit where I wanted them.

I had trouble visualizing where they would fit, so I did what any good engineer would do -- I built a prototype. I sat down with some paper, made some folds, taped a few things together, and had a flimsy box that would let me see what the speakers I wanted would look like in various locations.

As it turns out, places I thought they would fit, they wouldn't. Places where they did fit, they looked too big. My wife patiently watched as I brainstormed different ideas.

I don't have an answer yet (I may just get smaller speakers), but it was strangely satisfying to perform the analysis.

In other news, the eighth day of my exercise marathon, I did an upper body workout with some walking thrown in to keep the heart moving. It wasn't that aggressive of a workout, and my body is thanking me for that (and the longer night of sleep) right now. So, 5 sets of (5 push ups, 10 sit ups, 5 minutes walking). The Big Lebowski was on the TV, and let me tell you, cracking up laughing is not exactly what you want to do while you're struggling to finish those last few sit ups!

August is a week old

Seven days, seven workouts. My body is confused. I've gone through periods where I was working out 5-6 days a week, but seven straight days is something I'm not used to. Can I handle 24 more?

I did a treadmill run yesterday, 30 minutes of running with 10 minutes of warmup/cooldown. It felt great and reminded me why I enjoy running, even on a repetitive boring treadmill. My nasty work day disappeared and it was just me saying, "come on, you can do this."

This morning, though, after getting only 5.5 hours of sleep, it doesn't feel so great. I'm tired, and my legs are sore and weak. I probably would be fine if I had slept enough, but I didn't. And now I'm back and work and back facing the problems I made disappear yesterday.

But, hey, at least they disappeared yesterday. And I know they'll disappear tonight when I do whatever workout I decide is best for today (given how my legs feel, likely upper-body).

I do have to be smarter about getting rest.

Going back to the beginning

A little sore from my bodyweight workout, and still able to feel Sunday's run in my legs, I decided yesterday was a recovery day. I walked, instead of running, for 45 minutes.

It reminded me of how I started this whole journey.

All my adult life, I've struggled with my fitness, but it wasn't until 2004 that I decided to make serious strides to do something with it. Things were quiet, at work, and I started going to the gym every day an hour before lunch. At first, all I did was walk. It started me down a road that took me to running a 10-K in April of 2005, wearing sizes I could last fit into a decade back.

Of course, I made mistakes, I got lost on the road, and I lost all that fitness and more. But here I am again, in 2007, making steady strides in the right direction, with even more "wisdumb" of what works and what doesn't.

There was a strange feeling of returning to the beginning as I sweat out those minutes at a brisk walk. A sense of accomplishment and yet acceptance of the fact that this is all a cycle -- that we advance, we fall back, we learn and we forget ... but until the ticker runs out, we still have a chance to do the right thing.

I am not Ironman

Sunday I watched the replay on NBC Sports of the Ironman championship in Hawaii.

I am not a triathlete; I'm barely a runner. But it's impossible to watch this program and not be moved and motivated. The excuses I come up with to justify my lack of exercise seem beyond trivial compared to the hardships these people put up with.

I laughed when they talked about how the elite athletes had finished and now the "everyman" finishers were trickling in. "Everymen" who are fitter, stronger, and more driven than any person I know (in the "real world"). To see a 76-year old nun complete something I'd never dream of starting shows just how much room I have to grow.

I don't know where this world is going to take me. But I know that I'd be throwing away what I'm fortunate enough to have if I didn't push myself just a little harder.

Speaking of pushing, I went for an "easy" run yesterday. I call it easy because I went outside without looking at the time, with no set route, no distance, no pace, and no goal. When I got back, it turns out I had run 3.25 miles, give or take. Not bad.

My muscles are more sore today than yesterday, by the way. I am still not Jason Bourne. I'll check the mirror again tomorrow.

Pros and Cons of Jason Bourne

(the movie itself is great; go see it)

The benefit of watching Bourne Ultimatum prior to your workout for the day?
You will want to push yourself to your limits. You will be motivated by the idea of having the kind of strength, efficiency of motion, and endurance that the character displays in the movie.

The drawback of watching Bourne Ultimatum prior to your workout?
You are not Jason Bourne.

My wife was on the treadmill and I decided to do some bodyweight strength training. This is not something I do often, but it's something I hope to integrate into my fitness plan. Forcing myself to exercise every day will make me do these more often, I hope.

So, I did 5 sets of:
- 5 pushups
- 10 squats
- 10 situps

I also did a few crab walks and bear crawls across the basement, which sound and look ridiculous but were damn hard. Through it all I added some walking to cool down, and some stretching. It was really ad-hoc, just trying different things out, getting a feel for it.

This morning, my muscles are still exhausted but not as sore as I was expecting. So that's nice.

The virtual world is abuzz

When I'm not trying to get in shape, I'm doing my best to get fatter by sitting on my behind and playing World of Warcraft. Today everyone's talking about the long-rumored second expansion to the game, which was finally officially announced. Those of you who even know what I'm talking about have already read everything about it.

One thing I keep hearing is that people are distressed that all their hard work is going to be thrown away, when the game "resets" everyone for the climb to level 80. This happened when the first expansion came out, and a lot of people quit.

Here's what I tell them:

I made a decision before I bought WoW, based on my experience with other games.

When I wasn't having fun, I wouldn't play. I wouldn't play in hopes of having fun later, I'd always aim to be having fun at the time.

If that meant progression, fine. If it meant playing 5 alts in rotation, fine. If it meant PvP, fine.

With that kind of attitude, there's no angst over a new expansion coming along and "ruining" what you've accomplished. You were having fun the whole time, so you got your money's worth.

If only real life was always that simple.

Speaking of real life, three miles run today. Progress!

Two down!

I've been linked! And now everyone knows about my crazy idea!

Jank dropped by and wished me luck, and even dropped a link to my meager blog over on his. So if you clicked that link and stumbled onto me, I apologize for not having thrilling race stories or epic trail run photo montages. You'll have to make do with my little public diary.

I shared my ambition for August with my wife, over the phone. There was a fairly long silence, and I said to myself, "maybe this is a mad idea." But she's being supportive, even if she isn't going to tag along every day. I explained my basic idea to her -- I need to exercise, and if I'm not running regularly, I need to find other things to fill in the gaps. Forcing myself to do something active every day will break down the flimsy excuses I use to end up sitting on the couch.

So, the tally so far:

Day 1: Mowing the lawn. This is not as trivial as it sounds; we have almost an acre, and the grass had almost 2 weeks of prime growing on it. In the late day heat, I poured out my day's sweat pushing a heavy mower around. Not a run, but certainly as strenuous as my usual workout.

Day 2: Took my wife out for a sunset walk around the streets of my neighborhood. We took some side roads we've never been down before, and ended up on a lonely dirt road through some woods. Half the mosquitoes in Massachusetts evidently live in those woods, and we ended up running to avoid the swarm. Far from a strenuous workout, but it's a lot more than I would have done today if I didn't have this plan in mind.

(And I would have stayed out an extra 15 minutes if I knew some of you were going to try and keep me honest!)

Augustathon?

I've written about my running slump before, and while I have been running semi-regularly, I have yet to get back into an exercise groove. The flimsiest of excuses will stop me from exercising, and I know from personal experience that an active lifestyle is the only way I stay fit.

So, I got inspired by reading about some folks running an Augustathon. These folks are running every day for the month of August, 3 miles a day minimum. Now, that's not what my body is ready for, but I think I'll use August as a way of refocusing my fitness achievements. The fact that my birthday falls in August is a nice way to bring in some extra motivation.

So here's my August pledge. I will exercise every single day this month. My plan is to try a bunch of different things, forcing myself to stay creative to prevent injury and boredom. These are the types of things I will do:

• 30 minute runs
• 45 minute walks
• 60+ minute lawn work
  
• Kayaking
• Hiking
• Push-ups and other bodyweight training

This is a complete spur-of-the-moment idea, and the only way I'll actually see it through is if I post it here and hold myself accountable.

August begins today. Let's see where this crazy idea goes.

This generation's Lord of the Rings?

I was thinking about Harry Potter the other day, and wondering how it will be looked back upon in 20 years.

We know it's a huge commercial success, making JK Rowling more money than she can possibly hope to spend in her lifetime. And we know it's had a huge cultural impact, with nonsense words like muggles being meaningful to (probably) the majority of the population. We know it's getting kids to read again, though some folks question whether it's having any significant impact on children's reading.

I can't really call it this generation's LOTR, though. LOTR was counter-cultural. It took decades for a successful mass-market movie adaptation to be made. LOTR became, in some ways, a commercial success despite the intentions of its author -- Harry Potter, not so much.

No, I think it's more accurate to say Harry Potter is this generation's Star Wars. A huge commercial enterprise around something which, once you look deeply into it, is more fluff than substance, but fun fluff nonetheless.

Maybe in a couple decades these kids can have their "new trilogy" where Rowling writes a prequel about the early years of James, Lilly, and Severus.... And we can all smile knowingly when they whine about how it's ruined their memories of the pure originals.

Punished my legs on Sunday

So, I broke my non-running streak and went for a tough run on Sunday. After all, what better way to reintroduce your legs to running after a week than with a big hill? So, I can feel it in my legs today, but much more importantly I feel good about getting back on the road after a short break.

I hit a weight loss milestone this weekend too. I was hoping to hit this weight by my birthday (Aug 20) and I'm almost a month early. So, that's encouraging, and exciting.

In unrelated news, I spent much more time this weekend reading the new Harry Potter than you'd expect, given how nice it was outside. Oh well. Gotta read it before the ending is spoiled for me. I've already heard more than I want to just walking the halls at work....

A week without running

For the first time since I started aggressively working on my fitness this year, I've gone a week without running.

I'd like to say this is part of my big plan, and that I am saving up my energy or recovering from an injury. The fact is that I've been busy, and it hasn't been enough of a priority to push other things out of the way.

So I thought I'd write about it as a way of trying to understand why this is. Why was it that during my Couch-to-5K program, I made time 3x a week no matter what, but right now I've managed to not find time for seven consecutive days?

I think I can break it down into several factors:

1. Running outdoors has spoiled me; I look at the treadmill and think boredom (but don't necessarily have time to do other than the treadmill)
2. I'm doing well, fitness-wise, and am making progress without the exercise
3. I'm not tracking towards a planned objective

So, assuming that I want to be a better runner (and I am pretty sure I still do), what can I do to address those three points?

1. Find time to run outside, even if it's just around my neighborhood. Accept that some workouts are just to maintain running fitness, not for fun, and sometimes the treadmill accomplishes that just fine.
2. Remember that I've never been successful at keeping weight off without maintaining exercise.
3. Plan an objective and track to it (pick a race, pick a training program to reach that race).

On the third point, many training programs are 9-12 weeks. So if I were to find a race in 2-3 months, I'd be able to track towards it. I've been talking about a fall race for a while, so maybe it's time to pick one and sign up. That should give me a motivation boost, no?

At the same time, I also want to open myself up to other options for point number two. If I'm just slumping on my running, I may need to pick up the slack elsewhere.

Series 3 "Lite"?

A few months back, I said that if the Series 3 TiVo was $299, I would have argued with myself but eventually bought it.

Well, looks like I may have to look at those words a bit more seriously, in light of some leaked news out of TiVo-land.

If the rumors are true, for $299 you're getting dual HDTV tuners, the big selling point of the TiVo S3. There are a bunch of other minor changes, but that's what it boils down to.

On the other hand, my cable box HDTV recently got its firmware upgraded. Most of the annoying bugs are fixed, and I've learned to deal with the feature gaps between the DVR and the TiVo. Is it worth $299 to close those gaps? Especially when we're talking about saving money? Probably not.

Probably not.

See what I read

I've added a new feature to the blog; a rolling list of items I've marked from my RSS reader. This is mainly stories I found interesting ... you probably won't :).

The best things in life are free

(or at least paid for by other people)

Last night, we got a last-minute invite to head over to a cabin by a lake in Phillipstown, owned by in-laws of in-laws. Said in-laws (Jess's brother and his family) were staying there for a couple nights. With no other plans, and an unexpected free evening, we took the long (well, 45 minutes) country drive (one of the more pleasant drives I've taken in this area) north, and ended up on a narrow dirt road that ended by a cabin on a lake.

We stayed for a bit over 3 hours, and in that time we fished, swam, sat by a fire, made s'mores, burned popcorn, and stood quietly on a dock watching lightning flash in the sky so far away we never heard thunder. The lightning-watching was especially memorable. We were looking up into the hills that surrounded the lake, seeing far-away lightning take a pitch-black sky and illuminate the shapes of distant clouds. Sometimes the lightnings would come with startling frequency, sometimes you could even make out the shapes of actual bolts of lightning. Other times it was just a vague flicker of light from afar. Either way, we realized we were seeing something special.

I can't remember a single more relaxing evening I've had on a work night. Those moments were precious, priceless even, and all it cost us was a willingness to say, "Sure, we'll go for a drive."

Who is that (un)masked man?

I'd had this goatee for six months now. I started it over the Christmas/New Years holiday, and maintained it until yesterday.

I'd been itching for a change, though. It kind of aggravated me, though it shouldn't have, that I had the same style facial hair as both my boss and his boss. And as it got warmer, the goatee got less and less appealing, trapping sweat and generally increasing the feeling of heat on hot humid days, especially days spent outdoors.

So in a fit of inspiration, I stepped out of the shower yesterday and cut the damn thing off.

I don't recognize myself in the mirror. It's honestly freaking me out. I see shapes and patterns in my facial structure which don't equate with "me". I reach for my face and pull back my hand quickly, in shock, like I touched something I unexpected and unpleasant.

I don't know how long it will take to get used to the clean face, but I know it's not going to be fun. I miss the scruffy bastard.

Outdoor running, revisited

In regards to my post below, extolling the benefits of outdoor running, I will add a second thing that outdoor running adds into the mix.

Hills.

And pain. In the knees.

Better today than yesterday, but still not planning to run today. I'll give my body an extra recovery day and run tomorrow. Long work day today anyway (and yesterday, ugh), so it's not like I'm brimming with extra energy to burn.

Outdoor running

So, I did my entire C25K program running on the treadmill in my basement. It was safe, the speed was controlled, and I could get more comfortable with my abilities that way. The benefits of treadmill running are very easy to understand and I don't need to spell them out here.

Since then, I've done a couple runs outside. Let me tell you -- it's a night and day difference. There's a certain confidence you get from saying, "look, I can run for 30 minutes straight." But the confidence of saying, "I can run from here to there, and back, without stopping," is entirely different. It's so much stronger and real.

Granted, there are cars to dodge, mosquitos biting, dogs barking, and all that. But it's worth it.

Today I feel like a fit man trapped with 30-40 extra pounds of fat on him. A few months ago I felt like a fat man wishing he was fit. It's a transformation I am very thankful to have made.

Success is a motivator

21 pounds down.
Running 3 miles a day, every other day.
Feeling better than I have in a year.

There's a sense of accomplishment there, but I have to weigh it against knowing how much more I have ahead of me. To just return to the level of fitness I had will take many more months. But there are no mysteries on the road there; I have the map, I have driven the course before, and I've put in solid time on it and know what's what.

And I find myself itching for a bigger push.

I'm in a dangerous spot with my running fitness, where I feel more fit than I am. I can and should add more miles, but not yet. I can and should work on running faster, but not yet. It's just out of reach. Two weeks more, or so, and I'll be up for that.

In the meantime, I should do what I keep saying I'll do, and that's start on some bodyweight exercises. I hate going to the gym at work, and don't always have time to anyway. But there's always time to add some bodyweight exercises. The main concern people have with bodyweight routines is that you can't push yourself to your limits -- however, being untrained this is not a big concern to me. My secret bodyweight goal? To be able to do a solid set of pullups/chinups. From childhood that's always been something I could never do, so in my mind it's as far away and impossible as running a marathon.

The ubiquity of information

It's Saturday afternoon. Jessica and I are in a motel room in New Jersey, getting ready for the wedding we have to attend in a few hours. I'm flipping channels on the TV. I come across a program focused on animal life in Death Valley. It catches our interest, and we see the tail end of a segment which is obviously about some kind of road race that is run there, which sounded pretty awful.

I pulled out my Blackberry, which I had brought to be able to retrieve maps online on the go. I did a quick search on the terms "death valley ultramarathon" and within seconds I was reading the wikipedia article on the Badwater Ultramarathon, a 135-mile race where runners have to face a 13,000 feet elevation gain (running from below sea level to near the summit of Mt. Whitney). I had a great chuckle when they said that nobody had died on the race "yet."

Putting the Internet into our hands at every moment isn't just about being able to buy movie tickets or get directions to the closest pizza joint, no matter what the marketing suits tell you. Sometimes it's just about being able to satisfy your curiosity the moment it arises.

Don't get me wrong. I did use the Blackberry for more traditional things as well. We needed to find a specific clothing store on the way down to NJ, and we found one at a mall right by the highway we were traveling. And I even earned some points among the extended family by not just finding the closest Denny's for them, but giving them directions as well. And while I didn't need the Internet to tell me how crazy it would be at Denny's as part of a party of 11 with 3 children under 5, I could have blogged about it while it was happening, had I thought of it :).

Stop wondering and start doing

Another "day in the life" of a man who regularly realizes he's smarter than he realizes if he just did the things he always talks about doing.

Yesterday, I had a bit of a headache towards the end of the day. My muscles were still sore from my last run and my weekend of playing with my nephews (playing catch and baseball with a couple pre-teens takes more out of you than you'd think). I went to bed a bit early, thinking, "I probably won't run tomorrow, my body might need the rest."

This morning, I felt fine. Not sore, not overly tired, etc. But I immediately started over-analyzing. Maybe I need to rest, maybe my body needs an extra day to recuperate, maybe I should wake up a bit more and make sure I'm not sore.

No, dumbass, you should just get your running clothes on and get on the treadmill (yes, it's beautiful out there, I'm holding off on running outside until I complete this training program).

I finally did the run, and it was one of the best runs I've had in a few weeks.

Stop thinking about it, and just keep doing it. Don't be so afraid of failing that you don't try, because trying and failing is a better end than not trying at all, and more often than not you won't fail anyway.

How many times do I have to re-learn this lesson (in matters small and large)?

(Fifteen pounds down ... four runs left in my training program ... so far, so good.)

Spring hits Podunk

One week ago, it was gloom and doom. This weekend, the weather was amazing.

Saturday, we set up our hammock in the back yard, and spent about an hour just laying in the sun. Stress falls away pretty quick in that environment -- and in the peace and quiet of the warm spring breeze I once again had a bit of a "reset button" moment. I need these, periodically, to remind myself what I work for. My own yard, on a quiet street, surrounded by trees -- this is why I endure all the stress I face at work.

The whole area is more alive right now -- you can see the early beginnings of buds on trees, things are sprouting in gardens, the spring birds are back, and people are out and about. The parking area near the pond was completely full this weekend, and the entire surface of the pond was dotted with boats.

And, of course, the bugs are starting to come back. We saw several hornets buzzing about the house. Some things never change.

Positive Thinking

On my commute home yesterday, I drove past the pond and saw two large blue herons flying over it. They were the first ones I've seen this year, and seeing them always brings a smile to my face. Spring is coming. The birds know it, but maybe someone should tell the skies.

This morning I went and killed that run that killed me Wednesday. It was still hard, but I ran it a little slower and was able to pound it out. Mission accomplished, though I'm still nervous about the rest of my runs being this difficult. Jess is enjoying the fact that she's having an easier time of running than I am, so I guess there's some benefit to my struggle.

I'm going to head over to PR Running on Monday and get my shoe choice double checked. I'm also going to incorporate increased stretching into my routine. I read some great advice -- do stretches on your off days to make sure you give them the attention they deserve. A full set of stretches can run you 20 minutes, and I know I don't have the patience to do that before/after a run. I'm lucky if I spend 2 minutes stretching. But if it's my off day, I can stretch in place of a run and still get some benefit.

My Monday is going to be very busy, for a day off. Dentist appointment, running shoe shopping, grocery shopping with my mother, and possibly lunch with Jess. The Marathon could well be over by the time I get home and pop on the TV to see how it's going.

A many-stepped journey

I know I'd be a happier person if I took my own advice more often. For example: don't sweat the small stuff.

Today I had a particularly stressful phone conversation with my manager, for reasons I won't go into here (nothing bad, just the usual). I immediately went down to the treadmill for my Week 6 Day 3 run of my C25K plan. Things went okay until about 15 minutes into the running portion. With ten minutes remaining, I wasn't sure I had it in me to finish.

Five minutes went by, and what had started as a slight nagging in my legs had turned into a burning pain in each calf. I was counting the seconds, and had 300 to go. I tried to push it out but after another 30 seconds I realized how stupid I was being. Pain like that, that gets worse as you continue the exercise, is usually not something you want. I dropped back to walk pace immediately, walked for 5 minutes, and then stretched for a few minutes.

The pain is gone, but it's still tight. And I'm pissed that I couldn't complete my workout. But this is just one step on a long journey -- one training run that didn't complete as expected is hardly reason to get upset.

But such is the paranoia of the man who isn't fully confident he can do what he's attempting (even though he's done it before). Every tiny setback is examined from all possible angles.

Dave, don't sweat the small stuff. You still got a great workout in.

The question: was it just random chance? Unstretched legs? New running shoes? Too fast?

What do I change next time?


My plan: stick with the new shoes, drop my pace a bit, and try again in a couple days. If the pain returns, go to the running store on Monday and see if there's a different shoe I should be using.

Easter Birth Control

So yesterday we hosted the family Easter dinner, a surprisingly non-religious affair given how religious most of the attendees (but not the hosts) were. In any case, after an easter egg hunt, an easter basket hiding game, a huge meal, and several hours of 3 sugar-crazed kids, my house looked like some kind of tornado went through it.

I walked into the kitchen and jokingly said, "What happened to my house?"
My sister-in-law replied, "Birth control showed up."

In unrelated news, I got some new running shoes yesterday which I am looking forward to trying out. I've been running in 2 to 3 year-old shoes with a lot of rough miles on them. These are fresh and new, and I got a great deal on them online.

Two digit losses

No, I'm not talking about investments or work revenues. I'm talking about my recent fitness initiative!

As of this morning, I'm down ten pounds from when I made the decision that it was time to start this up again. I've completed five weeks of my running program, I'm down ten pounds, and I can feel the difference in my clothes.

A good start!

On pushing your limits

I don't talk about work much in this blog, for a few reasons. The biggest is the most obvious: I don't want this showing up on some corporate legal radar. The last thing I need is the guys in suits actually thinking I'm a liability (or more of a liability than they know I am!).

So. I'm finally taking one of the classes that lots of managers here take -- it tries to cram in all aspects of being a manager into 3 days. Leadership, business acumen, personal growth, all of it. And the pre-requisite (not required, but strongly recommended) is a "skills assessment."

The assessment takes the form of a 5-hour simulation of being a manager. You sit at your desk and handle email, calendar, and telephone. You have dissatisfied employees, demands from peer managers, all kinds of problems. It seems that the goal is to put you under enough simulated pressure to expose your weak areas, so you know what to focus on.

This does not sound, in the least bit, fun.

And yet my manager sings its praises, nearly constantly. He says the simulation was more important for his development than the follow-up course.

This is coming up in a couple weeks. I'm fairly nervous about it, for a lot of reasons. But it boils down to, "what if they tell me I suck at this?".

What's odd is that I would have no such fears about a technical challenge of this nature. If I took a 5-hour assessment of my technical skills and learned that I am good at half of it and suck at the other, I'd be glad to know that, so I could start working on the other half. But that's because I've known I'm good at the technical side of things, for a long time. Maybe if such a test had been handed out in my freshman year of college I would be just as nervous. Or maybe it's because management is made up of "soft" skills, and I have it in my head that if I'm bad at them, there's no improving it.

It doesn't make much sense, but there it is.

Rush tickets on sale

June 27th, Mansfield MA, An Evening with Rush.

I'm not sure I'm going this tour. Should I buy tickets anyway? Not exactly cheap....

2 steps forward, 3 steps back

Sometimes you have to look backwards in order to move ahead. In 2004, my brother-in-law Steve was serving overseas in Iraq and the surrounding areas. I looked at the sacrifices he was making for what he believed in, looked at the struggles he had been through to become a Marine at the age of 30, and decided that I needed to take steps to change my own fitness level. I ate better, started exercising, and eventually started running. I dropped 40 pounds, was running up to 20 miles a week, and felt the best I ever had. In the middle of all that, I became closer to Steve than I had been since high school (while being as geographically separated as is possible, basically).

Then things changed. I hurt my foot while running a 10K race with Steve upon his return in 2005. Things got more complicated at home, and at work. I lost my drive, and eventually lost my fitness. It took a little while, but two years after that road race it's 2007, and I'm heavier and more out of shape than I was in late 2004. I just reread my blog post from that day, from the race. It's sobering to look back on what I've lost.

That's looking back.

What motivated me then isn't what is motivating me now. Now it's time to look forward. I'm not getting any younger. I am lucky to be as healthy as I am, given how poorly I've treated myself in the past. I deserve better, my wife deserves better, and I know I'm capable of better. I'm tired of knowing my potential and being so far from it.

About a month ago, I convinced myself of this, and have quietly been working on it. I've done four weeks of the same 9-week program that got me into running in the first place. I've been recording my food intake, logging my exercises, and generally ramping up towards being more responsible. And I'm finally confident enough in it to post here that it's what I'm doing. Even though nobody really reads this, there's a certain amount of commitment involved in putting it down "on paper" as it were.

The habits are getting back in place. The body remembers what it takes. The comfort of knowing I can do this (since, well, I did it before) competes in my mind with the frustration that comes with doing it all a second time (and having it be harder).

So, once again, I'll probably be posting fitness-related items in here again, as I try to keep myself honest.

Life is a journey, and sometimes you have to loop back around and cover the same ground twice. It's okay. We're not in a hurry....

I can't quit my job

So, yeah, evidently I didn't win the big lottery last night. I even bought a ticket and everything.

Stupid system.

In other news, I am a travel writer!

Oh, wait, not really. But I did contribute to wikitravel.org, which takes the wiki approach to travel guides.

So, while I didn't win enough money to quit my job and roam the world, I did spend some of my personal time making sure that my own experiences traveling help someone else pick a good restaurant next time they go to Sanibel Island. Hey, you gotta make compromises in life.

Stalking my friends from high school

So I'm poking around a music forum today, and I notice a post about a site called Metal Archives. They said, if they don't have an entry, the band is either really obscure or isn't metal.

Suuure.

So a buddy of mine in high school was in a short-lived death metal band called Exhumed. What are the odds they have an entry? Pretty good. Not only that, I get the names of a few of the other bands my old no-longer-in-touch friend has been in since then. I follow the lines all the way to his myspace page (via his current band's).

Awesome world we live in. To be fair, we did touch base about 5 years ago, so I knew he was still playing music and all that.

Speaking of myspace ... is there like some rule that all myspace pages must look like someone ate an HTML dictionary and vomited it back up in random order? Goddamn.

You have to watch the game

There are a lot of fans in New England who aren't interested in watching the game today. Indy beat the Pats twice this year, and ended our dreams of further cementing the Pats' place in history. Peyton is overexposed, and nobody wants to watch his goofy grin upon being handed the trophy. On the same lines, Chicago is a team that ran the table against the NFC this year, a feat which hasn't earned them any respect. They struggled against the likes of Arizona, and sometimes seemed to be nothing but smoke and mirrors.

So why watch this matchup?

I'll take you back to Superbowl XXXII. John Elway, who positively owned the Pats during his career, was facing Brett Favre, who had defeated the Pats the year before. Pats fans didn't want either of these guys taking the trophy. Elway was to us, what the Pats were to Manning (up until this year, grr). Favre's victory lap around the Superdome was still fresh in our minds.

With this context in mind, I watched a 30-minute highlight show on this game, today, on ESPN2. And I grinned like a little kid. I relished the tension, the drama, seeing the game unfold, watching the big hits, and big drives, the determination and grit as the Broncos' ran the Packers over enough times to wear them down and win the game.

And when Elway hoisted that trophy up, I still felt that residual resentment. "Now retire, and let us start winning AFC championships." But beyond that, I looked at two legends, at or near the tops of their games. And I knew I was watching something beyond what mattered to our team. This was history, this was football.

This year, the story is no less compelling. Manning, at the top of his game, with his aw-shucks grin and a team built to propel him to the top. Chicago, with decades of historical greatness in defense, ready to take it all away and slowly grind the game away with a punishing running game. Rex Grossman, inexperienced, maligned, ready to either win it for his team or lose it with a single foolish throw.

For these men and their families, this may well be the day they most remember, for the rest of their lives.

It's the Superbowl. The final showdown you've been building towards since August. You have to watch. I mean, who knows what you might miss?

Giving Thanks for Thanksgiving

If you know me, you know I'm not exactly a hardliner when it comes to resisting the appeal of the Christmas holiday season. But one thing I will stand up for, every year, is the ability to celebrate Thanksgiving as a holiday in its own right.

Growing up, Thanksgiving was one of many holidays we didn't celebrate. My mother believed, as most in her faith do, that Thanksgiving is a corruption of an ancient pagan celebration and no good Christian should celebrate it. Not only that, Witnesses specifically avoid singling out any one day to do someting they should do every day (be thankful). Then there's the whole patriotic history, eating to excess, etc. Anyway, you'll find a good write-up on beliefnet.

Even given all of that, Thanksgiving was the one time where my whole messed up family got together. My aunts and uncles who had left the state would come back, cousins I never saw would appear at my grandparents' house, and so on. We never had a car, so visiting with certain family members was very rare. If we skipped holidays, we might never see them. So at several points in her life, my mother came to some kind of a compromise with her conscience and her family.

We attended a few Thanksgivings. It wasn't a regular thing, as my mother's strictness on certain issues varied year to year. But we went to a few. Enough for certain aspects of the holiday to imprint on me, and eough for me to feel sentimental about it in a way that I don't with other holidays.

As hosts of this year's Thanksgiving dinner, we have a chance to take the traditions I remember from my childhood and mix them with my wife's family traditions. It's a rare thing, for me. I have very little in the way of tradition when it comes to the holidays, so mostly I've just inherited hers. It's a special opportunity and I look forward to it.

So, for just a couple more days, try to ignore the Christmas music on the radio. Don't put out your lights quite yet. Take a moment to be thankful for your family, your traditions, your memories, and all that you've accomplished (through hard work or dumb luck) in the past year. And get psyched up for good comfort food -- the smell of a roasting bird, potatoes whipped so smooth they might as well be fake, hot gravy and warm pies. And get ready to remind a new generation of kids that Christmas is great, but Thanksgiving deserves a place in your heart too.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

How I Spent my Weekend

This past weekend, I participated in a traditional male bonding ritual -- I went fishing. On the ocean. In a boat. With "the guys." The guys, in this case, are from Jess's family, and people Jess's dad or brother go to church with. In other words, not people I necessarily have a lot in common with. Except, you know, total masculinity.

Now, my expectations were low to begin with. Consider the following facts:

1. I get seasick easily.
2. I am not a recreational fisherman.
3. I am not a member of their faith.

But, the trip was in honor of Jess's dad's birthday, not mine. My goal was to be there and make sure he had fun.

It started out fine, overnighting at Jess's parents. I entertained folks by basically watching wacky movies on youtube and google video, and we all drank coffee and made smalltalk. By 11 or so, we were in bed, and having trouble sleeping in the noisy bright city environment. Country living has spoiled me, I tell you. Street lights and traffic? What's this?

We were up and about by 5 AM, and on the road shortly thereafter, six guys sitting in a Ford Excursion, not very awake. My brother-in-law asks, "Hey, does this ting have a radio?" The silence is replaced by whatever the radio had been on previosly -- a Christian station. As if the music wasn't bad enough, it changed into a scriptural reading. Picture a guy just droning on, no commentary, reading aloud from the book of Isaiah. Fortunately, we were able to change it after a few painful minutes, over to a "mix" station. Bland inoffensive music, but at least it wasn't biblical.

The second amusement of the trip was in how badly we got lost. The blind were leading the blind in the front seat. I had made the mistake of getting two sets of directions -- one (very detailed) from Google Maps, and one (short and sweet) from the Marina's website.

Unable to reconcile differences between the two directions, our front seat tandem drove us all over Connecticut. Miraculously, we had left early enough to overcome this obstacle, and arrived only a few minutes late after stopping for directions at two different gas stations.

What we saw first was one of the cooler things I was to see that day -- the boat warehouse (picture is not mine, comes from the Marina's site).

Imagine a giant parking garage for boats, where each boat fits into a cubbyhole and is retrieved from it by a huge forklift/crane thingy. Easily a hundred boats in this building. Very nifty.

This led to a surprise, however -- how small the boat was. I mean, it wasn't tiny, but it was smaller than I expected. Given my sensitivity to motion sickness (fascinating, by the way, Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motion_sickness claims this is an evolved response to hallucinations caused by toxin ingestion), this was notgood news. I downed a couple of Dramamine and helped load things up.



The trip started out wonderfully. The weather was perfect and the seas calm. We left the shoreline and found an area where some birds were congregating, and tried our luck with some light tackle. This is "normal" fishing, basically. Rod, reel, lure, cast and reel in. Nothing fancy, very relaxing. But we caught zero fish and decided to move on.

Here's where my experience totally shifted from my expectations. I pictured us on a boat, with lots of water on all sides. This is true ... but what I hadn't planned for in my mental image was the number of other boats sharing the same spot. This wasn't a matter of "look way over there, someone else is fishing," it's more, "Well, there are 25 boats within sight, obviously this is a good place to fish."

The next type of fishing we did was much less fun, for me. The rods were replaced with much heavier ones, and each of us put a heavy weight at the end of our lines. You then stop the boat and set it adrift, and then hang your line off the edge of the boat. Release the line, wait for the weight to hit the bottom, and then reel it in a foot or two. Then, periodically bounce your rod up and down so the weight hovers above the ground. The result is that your lure is a couple feet off the ground, trailing behind your weight. What sucks about this?

• The rod is heavy and tiring on the arm
• The heavy weight dulls your ability to sense anything
• As the ocean changes in depth, your weight will snag on the floor and fool you into thinking you've caught the world's largest fish

The fascinating thing about that last bit is that it reveals just how quickly your boat is drifting relative to the ocean floor. You go from leisurely holding your rod to feeling like a submarine has
snagged your line and is making for Mother Russia.

Anyway. This method of fishing (jigging) bored me to tears, and did very little to address my growing seasickness. I took more Dramamine, which made me more tired and less eager to fish. But I did my best.

After a while, we moved on to Round Three. Here, we trolled. You take two big rods, put them in holders at the back of the boat, and tow a couple hundred feet of line behind you with big lures at the end. When you land something, you strap yourself in and reel in the fish.

I must say, this was pretty cool.

You take turns letting the line out and catching whatever you hook. We caught enough fish doing this that everyone had a chance, or several chances really. My chance came fairly early on, and I dragged in the biggest catch of the day, a 36" Striped Bass (Striper). This fish was a good 6
inches longer than anything anybody else caught, and it went a long way towards keeping me credible even as I spent more and more time sitting on a cooler and wishing my seasickness would go away.

Reeling in the fish was more fun than you'd think. It's a continuous strain on your muscles, six guys are cheering you on, and it's hard. At the end, you pull your fish aboard, and everyone oohs and aahs over what you've done. And then they measure it and keep it if it's legal, and you're back at square one.

As a plus, the boat is moving the whole time, which really helps with my motion sickness. But eventually the seas got too rough and we went back to Jigging. I didn't even bother to fish this time, instead quietly cheering on everyone else who was reeling them in. After six hours at sea, we headed back in, exhausted, dirty, but satisfied. To be honest, I was ready to quit after 3 hours, but hey, we got our money's worth.

In the end, my brother-in-law caught the most fish (8) and I caught the biggest. Not bad. Our captain came ashore with us and fileted the fish in front of us so we could split up the meat easily. As someone who doesn't really enjoy eating fish, I donated my monster filets to Jess's dad and brother. I hope they enjoy them. Here's our cooler at the end (mine is the one on top).


The ride home was long and fraught with peril. We got stuck in a 45 minute traffic jam due to what had to be a fatal accident; that car was crushed. We also had a tire spring a leak, which the manly men of course had to repair immediately (surely a good idea, but at this point I was hungry and exhausted). We got back to Springfield around 6, were back on the road home by 7, and I was showered and back in bed before 9.

Was it worth it? Definitely. Jess's dad had a great time, and I even had some fun. Would I do it again?

Nah. Not really :).

Two months?

So, obviously it's been a while since I posted. Funny that my last post was about TiVo, as it brings me back here 2 months later.

Series 3 is out, and it's not everything we wanted it to be. Don't get me wrong, the functionality I want is in there. But plenty of people are disappointed that the newer TiVo functions allowing multi-room viewing and sharing between TiVo and other devices are not available due to ongoing discussions with the cable companies.

That wouldn't stop me from buying it, except that it's 800 dollars.

TiVo is everything I want in my DVR. But I can't spend $800 to record my TV shows when my cableco DVR does an acceptable job of it. For $1600 I could ditch my 27" CRT HDTV and replace it with a 42" LCD HDTV that does 1080p. Which do you think would have a greater impact on my daily recreation?

The fact is, I'm not blowing a grand on either of these things. I have a house to pay for! Well, not just the house, but doors, carpets, floors, and chimney work. And who knows what else? At this point, a thousand dollar luxury purcase just isn't in the cards.

If it was $300 I would have argued with myself but eventually bought it. For $500 I'd be kicking myself, wishing I had it and watching for sales. At $800, I can just back away and let the early adopters enjoy their new toys. I'll check back in with TiVo sometime next year....

TiVo: No, don't cancel!

Shortly after getting HDTV and a HD DVR from my cable company, I realized my TiVo had a short life span ahead of it. Dual tuner and high definition simply are killer features. Everything else, though, the TiVo does better.
Handling a show ending while you're recording it
Handling schedule changes
Season passes are "smarter"
Suggestions
PC integration
Overall interface

In other words, it breaks my heart every time I use the HD DVR instead of my TiVo.

So, after not using the thing for 6 months (hear that? That's 75 bucks down the drain), I called to cancel. I got a very friendly enthusiastic young man who couldn't wait to help me, and made me feel even worse about canceling.

I explained why I had to do it. I talked about HDTV. I mentioned I'd be looking at them again in a few months when Series 3 came out.

And he said, well, Series 3 will be out in a couple months. What if we didn't bill you for a few months, and once it comes out, you can decide whether you want to cancel or not.

Well, fine.

I'm a sentimental sucker. I love my TiVo. Let's hope I don't forget to cancel again in 3 months (or let's hope I get a Series 3 for Christmas...).

New hobby in the making?

The area where I live now is known for being a haven for sportsmen. They are trying to attract hunters, fishermen, and just plain outdoorsy types. Boating, hiking, fishing, you name it.

Well, on the 4th I got a taste of what it has to offer for people, and I might just be hooked.

We had a medium-sized family BBQ on the 4th, and after a nice little thunderstorm blew through, all the guys in the group (myself, brother-in-law Steve, father-in-law Steve, and nephews Tommy and Joey) got into the kayaks Steve (BIL) had brought and started out from what's traditionally known as "North Pond." We paddled over to where a stream leads to the pond from another one, and headed up that way (going under the very low bridge to do so). Within mere minutes, the road was out of sight, and we were surrounded by reeds, wildlife, and quiet.

Now, I love water. It calms me, the sight of it, the sound of it, the idea of its vastness. But I am not a boat person -- I get seasick quickly. And I am not a fisherman -- haven't fished since I was a kid.

But this trip changed both those opinions of myself. The water was calm, and sitting in the boat was equally calming. And while I am not a legally licensed fisherman, I will admit to taking a couple casts and getting a feel for the rod and reel. Somehow, having something to occupy you in a simple repetitive way made the whole experience even more relaxing.

I returned home after several hours loose and relaxed, if a little sore from paddling. Sunburned, sure, but with a new experience under my belt.

Jess was just saying that it would be nice if we had a hobby we could enjoy together. We're going to give this one a shot -- a place nearby will rent you kayaks for the day for $40, or a bit more for a two-seater. We're gonna check it out, see if it's something we both enjoy.

Who knows, maybe I'll be posting about my exploits across the streams of Worcester County before long....

Identity Theft FTL

Within the past year, I have received notification from three companies that personal identification about me may have been accidentally disclosed to unintended parties.

Wells Fargo had a server disappear in shipment, which may have had all kinds of juicy info on it including names, SSNs, and bank account information. Wells Fargo, of course, does my home mortgage.

A Medical Insurance company that I don't even do business with, but which provides services for my place of employment, recently contacted me to say a server was stolen out of a locked office at their facility, which had names and SSNs.

Finally, my newspaper informed me that they accidentally shipped a piece of paper including some billing information (we have our newspaper paid direct from our checking account, much as we do with our phone and electric bills) to their carriers.

Out of the three, only Wells Fargo offered to give us a year's free subscription to a credit monitoring service. I wasn't going to take them up on it, but after two additional breaches in the course of the following months, it's probably about time to do that.

And of course, because no tragedy in America happens without someone standing to make some cash, I recently saw a sign on an insurance company for "Identity Theft Insurance." What the hell is that? It's not like you can say, "My identity got stolen, I need a settlement to replace it."

Ah, the perils of the modern age.

What does your workspace say about you?

I've always wanted my workspace to reflect a little of who I am outside the office. This serves a lot of purposes. I get to have a little bit of my outside life around me while I work, and people who come into my workspace can see a little of the person who might not otherwise surface. It can also act as a conversation starter and a bit of a friend-finder.

The problem is that after ten years in the same company, it's stopped reflecting a little of who I am, and started reflecting a little of every little thing that has interested me in that ten years. It's less like a snapshot of my life and more like a dumping ground for it. And that's fine, in some ways. Some times it's cool to find an action figure I got when I was in my teens and remember how it ended up at work when I wanted something to decorate my cube in my first month on the job.

But overall, it's slowly been gnawing at me. I want a cleaner workspace, with less junk and more meaningful items. More things with stories attached, fewer random Burger King kids' meal toys.

And now, as a shift into a new managerial role (and office with a door) looms on the horizon, I have the perfect excuse to do something about it. What do I keep, what do I get rid of, and what do I add?

I mean, I can't even remember what prompted me to put a snowman-shaped pez dispenser on my bookshelf. I think I nabbed it from someone's cubicle after they left the company, to remind me of them ... but I can't remember who it was. There's an irony there which is not lost on me.

I have two Lord of the Rings movie posters on the wall that have been on display since well before the movies came out. When I put them up, it was a way of spreadng the news about the upcoming movies and starting conversations about them. Now people assume I'm some kind of LOTR fiend when the truth is I've seen Ocean's Eleven more times than I've seen Fellowship of the Ring (okay, maybe not, but it's close).

I've got snapshots of my nephews from before they were old enough to talk. Now they're in little league. I've got a complete LOTR chess set. Patriots players action figures for people who haven't been on the team in years. A giant R2-D2 cookie jar. The list goes on.

But I also have my collection of magnets I grabbed on my road trip, to remind me of where I've been. I've got a clay "death mask" I bought in Cancun. I've got a beautiful black and white picture of my nephews and niece taken last fall in a pile of leaves. And while you might not understand why a Diablo 2 action figure is important to me, in a weird way it's very important to me, and I don't want to let it go quite yet.

It's going to be interesting to see what I make of my new workspace, when I move into an office. How much of the old me will come along? What will my co-workers think of the change?

Right now my plan is to save one shelf in the office for "toys" and decorate the rest with more "grown up" trinkets. This will force me to pick and choose the toys which have the most meaning, and remind me of my roots, while allowing me to show more of who I am today to those who step into the office.

The real question is, what do I put on the walls? Right now I have four posters -- 1 Sandman, 1 Swingers, and 2 LOTR. I've been thinking of decorating with travel-themed posters, though ... change it up a little.

Watch here for updates :).

Not a programmer?

In the early 1980s, our classroom received its first computer. It was a TI 99/4A which ran some educational software but more importantly had a BASIC interpreter.

I sat and watched as the teacher asked if anyone in the class knew how to use it. One kid did, a popular boy named Tim. It was ... maddening ... to my little nerd self. I was the smart kid. I knew math, spelling, science. Tim was supposed to be the popular kid, who could beat up anyone in a playground fight and always got picked first at kickball ... how dare he know something academic that I didn't?

That shit would not fly. That summer I took a "Advanced BASIC Programming" class (yes, I jumped right into advanced; the beginner class was full) and a typing class, and by the start of seventh grade I was well on my way to being the kid who knew the most about computers in the class.

Little did I know then how much of a big deal this would be. The rest of my education in some way or another was centered around computers. Computers would dominate my spare time and hobby cash spending for years to come, and would even lead me to my first girlfriend.

As a sophomore in college, some Math professors sat me down at a table and tried to talk me into changing my major from Computer Science to Math ... but I would have none of it. Writing software was what I did. I couldn't imagine leaving it behind.

And now, in a way, I am.

Starting in mid-July, my job title will no longer contain the word Engineer. I will be a Manager. UML diagrams will be replaced by Microsoft Project Charts. If I do my job right, not a single piece of new code with my name on it will make its way into the final product after that day.

This is big, really big. It's a huge departure from what I've been doing for longer than I've had to shave. And while it scares the living daylight out of me, I'm thrilled and energized by the challenge.

I'm sure I'll be writing more about this as I actually transition into the role. For now ... I just keep thinking of that kid who wanted to make computers "do cool stuff." I hope I can feel some of that enthusiasm again, in helping other people "do cool stuff" instead.

Step one is (not) optional

(Wise quote from Jess's uncle: "If you're going to be a home-owner, you better get comfortable with killing things.")

Based on personal experience, here is how best to remove an infestation of gypsy moth caterpillars. There are several things you must have at your disposal, first:

• A large pruning instrument, for removing branches of trees where the caterpillars have made their tents.
• Materials for building a small fire. Kindling-level is fine here.
• A fire accelerant will be handy.
• Something to start the fire.
• Obviously you must locate your caterpillar tents.

Now, the actual methodology:

1. (This step is optional [not really].) Build a small fire. Leave kindling to catch.
2. Go forth and prune your trees, gathering the afflicted tree limbs.
3. (This is step is optional) Spray nests with fire accelerant (WD-40 works).
4. Place limbs over fire so that nests catch and burn caterpillars.

I can't say what comes after that, because we skipped step one. Our method was more like this:

1. Go forth and prune your trees, gathering the afflicted tree limbs.
2. Place cardboard under tree limbs.
3. Light cardboard on fire.
4. Add accelerant after realizing fire is taking forever to start.
5. Caterpillars realize things are heating up, crawl out of nests by the hundreds, and take off running.
6. You alternate crushing the fleeing caterpillars with your feet and spraying the whole scene with WD-40 to help the fire spread and do its work.
7. Disgusted, nauseated, and perhaps a little scorched, you hose down the impacted area.
8. You scuff the caterpillar guts off your shoes later.

So, the moral of the story? The fire better be hot enough to kill those bastards before they have a chance to notice it, or a simple sweep and clear becomes a total clusterfuck.

Happy Anniversary

So, tomorrow Jessica and I celebrate 12 years together.

Don't worry, I'm not going to jump off of a balcony.

In fact, we're playing it pretty low key this year. Yesterday we ran some errands, did some shopping, and had separate evenings (Jess had a mini class reunion from her collge friends; I ran Scarlet Strat in WoW). Today we went out for breakfast, and took a leisurely drive down route 9 to Easthampton (via Amherst, Hadley, Northampton). We drove down the streets we used to live on, cruised through our high school parking lot, and looked up at the mountain where I proposed to her.

Not bad, if I do say so myself.

Then we hit a graduation party for her cousin Sara, who just finished at Westfield State and is hoping to start teaching soon. It was nice, as always, to see family. It helped that the weather cooperated, as baking in the sun made even Bud Light taste refreshing (notice I didn't say good).

We're getting old, you know.

I've been a part of Jess's family for much longer than we've been married. I was a near-permanent fixture at their family events back when I was in high school, hanging around with Jess's brother Steve. So I've literally seen these kids go from toddlers to high school graduates and beyond.

And somewhere in New Hampshire, a young cousin of mine, related to me by blood, is graduating high school this year. We're invited to his party, though I haven't seen him since ... well, let's be generous and say 7 years. Could be ten.

And I probably won't go. Because while Jess's family may be kooky, they're a family. They fight, but they love.

My family is nothing like that. My aunts haven't spoken to my grandparents in years. Every single time they meet it's a major dramatic production. If we go to this party, we'll be spending time with all three of them (my mother and her two sisters) at the same time.

I don't know if I can handle that much of my family. The one I was born into.

It's really not a happy thing to think about.

So instead I'll focus on the positive. Twelve years of building my own family, with someone who no matter how different we are, is perfect for me. And through some magical coincidence, I'm perfect for her too.

Works for me. Happy Anniversary, Dave & Jess....

This place sure has gone downhill

I mean, come on, Dave.

Your profile picture is now a broken URL. You haven't posted in two months. You can practically see the dust bunnies. And six months ago you were seriously thinking of buying a domain name because you were blogging regularly enough that you felt comfortable having a more permanent home for the content.

So what gives?

I don't know. For a few weeks, I loaded up this page every day and stared at it trying to decide what to write about. And then I stopped altogether. I haven't even missed it.

But three things happened to change that.

First, an online friend of mine offered me some workplace advice, based on her own experiences in a situation similar to one I find myself in. On a whim, I went to read her blog and it was really a cool experience -- just reading stupid random stuff about playing hockey and dancing and the trials and tribulations of work and all that. I realized that I missed having an outlet for talking about that stuff.

The second thing is that my buddy Clint said, "Hey, it's been two months." So, yeah, fine.

The third is that I just got back from JavaOne, where everyone talks about how we're in the middle of this revolution from the Information Age into the Participation Age, and how everybody's a publisher of content now. And I'm thinking, yeah, I dig that idea. In fact, I publish content ... like every two months. Shit.

So, there you have it. A rebirth of blogging.

So what's going on in my life? What's the context for future postings which I'll try to make more regularly?

• After treating my body like shit for almost a year, I'm finally realizing that I can't keep it up. I've started working out again, from square one, because I've come to peace with the fact that I've lost most of the fitness I gained in the last push. After only a couple weeks of it, I've started to realize how much I miss it, and I'm a little bit depressed at how far I let myself go.
• My World of Warcraft guild is going through some very tough times, after withdrawing from a raiding alliance due to conflict of vision. Things are very bumpy and we're not sure what the future holds.
• Our home continues to improve. Jessica has spent significant chunks of time working on the outdoors, setting up little flower gardens and whatnot and watering them faithfully. We've finally bought and used a lawnmower. We're looking at carpet and flooring options.
• Things are changing at work. I'll write more once things have been announced to my team (on the off chance someone from work stumbles onto this), but I'm likely to be changing responsibilities fairly soon.
• Our 12-year anniversary is coming up and for the first time we're not traveling anywhere to celebrate. Just day trips.
• Wedding season is coming up -- got a bachelor party to go to soon, and another to plan before autumn.
• My mother is alive and well and living in her own apartment, and coming to grips not just with her health issues but also financial ones.

I'm sure there's more, but that's a quick update. I promise to come back, if for nothing else than to gripe about how hard it is to start focusing on fitness again after months and months of ignoring it....

San Francisco, Part Three!

Looks like I'll be heading to San Francisco again this year. This will be my third trip for JavaOne, making something like fifteen nights I've spent in San Francisco. I don't even think I've slept that many nights in Boston or NYC. Well, that's what happens when the company pays.

To be determined is whether I travel alone, or with Jess. We hadn't planned on an expensive trip together this year, but basically having her along on a company trip (if we don't do anything expensive) is a severely bargained vacation for her. We pay for her flight and her food, and that's it. Still, it's a different trip with just work going on versus sharing the time with Jess. Not that I mind a lot, but when every moment you're busy at the conference is a moment you're not seeing San Francisco with your wife, you kind of find reasons to stay away from the conference.

We'll see.

What I also have to decide, and soon, is where I'm going to stay. The place we stayed last year, Pan Pacific, is no longer affiliated with the conference. I'm not sure why; it was a fine location.

So, there are a couple metrics I need to worry about. Price is the smallest issue. Ideally I should pick a spot with a reasonable rate, but it's not a huge factor.

The next issue is location. While all of the hotels are "walking distance" from the conference, they vary from "next door" to 8 blocks away. Last year's hotel was a bit of a walk, but I never really minded it. Still, closer might be cooler, if it can be arranged.

The final issue is character. The truth is, I like to travel. I like to be in new places. While there's nothing wrong with staying at yet another Marriott, you have to wonder how different the Marriott San Francisco Downtown is from Marriot Boston Copley Place, say.

This creates an interesting dynamic. Close to the conference center, you have bland expensive chains which are designed for convention-goers. You also have a few expensive luxury hotels, and these are the ones I might have trouble getting paid to stay at. Further away, you have some of the more interesting, cheaper places, with more personality. Of course, one person's personality is another person's "dirty, noisy, and cramped." Finding the compromise is the hard job. The bonus here is that price and character are often inversely related. The $230 room at the Marriott is probably much less interesting than the $120 room at the Mark Twain.

Anyway, right now I'm seriously considering Hotel Rex, a small hotel with a literary theme near Union Square. The problem? I remember where this place is, basically another block further from the conference than I was last year ... uphill. Deal breaker? Or deal sealer?

It remains to be seen.

"Welcome to Home Ownership"

"Welcome to home ownership."

I hear that ... a LOT. I tell people about some minor adventure, and that's their response. I'm starting to see a trend.

The battle to turn this house we bought into our home is being fought on many fronts. The first one worth talking about is the paint job. The entire house was relatively unpainted. The main living areas were white, with clear markings of aborted paint attempts of years gone by. The bedrooms were a mix of white and this really pale blue, which looked like it had been unintentionally left on the walls. The previous paint job had been a less-than-enthusiastic affair, evidently, as you could easily see where it hadn't been completed: a giant unpainted area that was likely hidden behind a headboard in the bedroom, for example.

We couldn't decide how to proceed, but we started looking at colors anyway. And then an answer fell in our laps. Jess's parents knew someone who could help us out, and we'd be helping someone out in the meantime. This guy was someone her Dad knew through his church work, a Vietnam vet on disability after a lifetime of tough times. He was getting his life back together, had been sober for a while, and was a painter in need of work. For a reasonable price, he would bring his expertise into our home.

It worked out great. We bought the paint and the supplies, he showed up and just worked his ass off all day. Over the next few weeks, our house was transformed one room at a time, with the living room left for last.

And then he stopped showing up. We called, left messages at his group home, but never heard from him. Jess's Dad called around, and nobody had seen the guy in days. Where was he?

We still don't know. The working theory is that he fell off the wagon when his motorcycling buddy returned to the area, but we don't know.

So, thanks to my wife's initiative, we did it ourselves. She went to the store, bought some brushes, picked up some tips on things to do, and Thursday after work we painted our living room. Friday she put the finishing touches on it, including a couple coats of paint on the trim. Saturday we put our furniture back and packed up all the painter's stuff into one corner of the basement.

We still owe him a few hundred dollars, whenever he returns. And we'll gladly pay it. He earned every dollar of it. And in a weird way, I'm glad we got to paint one room. It gives us a huge sense of pride to sit in our living room and know that we did it. We transformed it. We made it ours.

And then, this weekend, we started working outside. We've got a lot of fighting left to do....

Zombie Horror

You know you are being lazy about updating your blog when your non-tech-savvy wife says she checked it and was sorry to see it hadn't been updated since she last looked.

So now I feel all obligated and such. Heh.

So I'll talk about horror movies, a subject which will bore Jess to tears if she gets stuck reading it. Sorry.

Last year, I was one of many people excited to finally see House of 1000 Corpses, Rob Zombie's first venture into movie-making. It was a classic setup, which you've seen in a dozen movies if you've seen it in one: young couple/group gets stranded somewhere in rural America, gets abducted by group of inbred maniacs living off the grid, tortured and killed one by one, leading to a final escape of one of the characters who either A: gets away, or B: is killed suddenly before escaping. Usually the "victim" characters are flawed enough that you don't feel too bad for them, and usually the "villain" characters are somewhat sympathetic in a "oh, those poor monsters" kind of way.

I'll be honest here. I dig these movies in a weird kind of way. But 1000 Corpses didn't do it for me. I felt like he glossed it up too much, took away all the suspense and tried to win it back with gore. It was too flashy, too much like one long music video with horror overtones as opposed to a solid suspenseful terror movie.

And yet, I still rented his followup, The Devil's Rejects.

And I am so glad I did.

This is so much the better movie. It's a slight departure from formula, in a way that really works and gets you involved. The movie starts with the "house" being raided by a large group of cops. Some of the family get away, and you follow the extended chase. You see the cop in charge of the investigation unravel to the point where at the end you've got a role reversal between the "good guys" and "bad guys."

It's awesome. It drips with 70s mood, has an awesome soundtrack, is gory in all the right ways ... it rocks. It's not flawless, mind you -- some of the acting comes off as stiff and forced, but overall I spent more time happy than disappointed.

The deeper question I ask myself is ... why do I dig this particular genre of horror so much?

That's the much more interesting blog post waiting to be made. And one which I'm not going to do today :).